Hi Louise,

I had the same thing happen a while back.
See my list guidelines:
http://www.topchoice.com/~psyche/lists/sex-l.html
http://www.topchoice.com/~psyche/lists/listnorms.html
Calling people names (Getting verbally abusive) is NOT OK and that's in the
list guidelines.
Posting private mail to the list without the originator's consent is NOT OK.
I issue one warning.  If they don't cease and desist I set them to nopost
until they convince me they will keep their posts consistant with list
guidelines
and I cc it to the list.  If they get verbally abusive with me in private
mail,
I simply tell them that's not ok onlist or off list and they will not be
able to
participate in the discussions until they convince me that they can keep
their posts consistant with list guidelines.  If they can't be civil toward me
then they haven't convinced me. *chuckle* and if they keep it up I ban that
address from resubscribing by adding it to the filter list in the header.
I don't worry too much about someone joining using a different account...
because if they let on that it's them, I'll simply ban the new address until
they convince me they'll behave.

To keep people from resubbing under a different account and continueing
their tirades, I have the list set to where the default setting is for new
subscribers
is review.  That means that all posts from new subscribers come to me for
approval.
I generally screen about three posts from new subscribers before letting them
post directly to the list so that I can catch the clueless unsubs and make
sure they
understand the quoting conventions and catch any resubs that come back to make
trouble.  I started this policy as a direct result of a guy who told me the
same thing...
that I couldn't stop him from doing whatever he pleased on my list because
he could
just resub under a different account and keep on posting.
Well I could and I did. *chuckle*

For specifics on what you need to set in your list header, see a page I put
together
for a new listowner at:
http://www.state.ok.us/~chs/draft/phc/listheaderdoc.html
I also have altered my list mail template to reinforce this notion, see the
template
I set up for the new listowner at:
http://www.state.ok.us/~chs/draft/phc/listowner.html#template

I did a quick search of the LSTOWN-L's archives and found a couple of posts
I've
written that may also be relevant.
http://peach.ease.lsoft.com/scripts/wa.exe?A2=ind9902&L=lstown-l&P=R5203
http://peach.ease.lsoft.com/scripts/wa.exe?A2=ind9709&L=lstown-l&P=R9932

I hope this helps. :)
Betty

Louise wrote:
>I have just been through my first(and oh god I pray, last) BIG flame type
discord with
>my list, and lived (barely) to tell about it...  The list is a one of a
support type,
>where many people and extremely sensitive/easily hurt.
>
>I asked that the heated conversation be taken privately, and this was
interpreted by a
>handful of the people involved(some whom are friends with one another) as
"if the list owner has an
>opinion that is different from mine(it's true I did not share their view
point regarding this
>"debate"), I will be silenced, and forced off of the list".  Absurd.   One
party also very abusively
>flamed me on list, posting parts of my private mail to her in an "out of
context" type of way.
>
>Although, very thankfully, I have received very much kindness and &
support from other
>members, there are still a handful that are causing me a lot of grief.
>
>It's a very loooong(and  "it ain t pretty"!) story, but it brought to mind
a couple of
>tough questions, that I still haven't been able to come to any solid
conclusions
>regarding.   Any input would be *really* appreciated:
>
>One of the people involved called me the slang word (starts with "c") for
the female
>lower part of body!!!   My first reaction was "nobody talks to me this
way, anywhere,
>ever!!!"  And indeed, if anyone in my personal life spoke to me this way,
that would
>be it.  *But* I understand that I dynamics here may be different..
>
>The question is:  What would others do here?   Does this warrant a banning
of this
>person from the list?     Again, this list is a *support* forum, dealing
with many
>extremely fragile individuals...   I am also a list *member*.      If this
comment had
>been made *on list*, I wouldn t have this quandary.    It would be a clear
violation of
>list guidelines.   The comment was made via a private exchange... *but* we
were
>speaking as "list member to list member".      I m just not sure here...
>
>The same member, and actually another member involved also told me that if
I unsubbed
>them, they could  always just re-sub under a free mail addy(I m sure
others have heard
>this one...sigh...) ... which brings me to my next question...
>
>If this has been addressed until the cows come home already, feel free to
mail me
>privately...
>
>Would it be unfair/unreasonable to *only* allow people with their main,
paid ISP
>account to sub. to my list?    It could put a big damper on the arrogance,
and ability of trouble
>makers,  *especially* on this type of list where it is VERY  disturbing to
>other members when this kind of trouble occurs.    Is that such an unfair
thing to do?
>After all,  ISP accounts come with a least one (now more are common)
e-mail account.