>I've been running a list for the past six months (I'm also the site >manager) for people with a chronic illness. I too run a list with chronic and terminally ill people on it, and I find it is a much different task than that which many of the listowners here deal with. First you have to organize your own thoughts about what your list is, and what it is not. If it is to be an unmoderated forum that, at least in part, will serve as a support group, you're going to have to accept that much of what passes through your list may not appeal to you personally. This doesn't mean that you can't argue your own points, but you don't have the luxury of some listowners of just kicking off anyone that displeases you. If there are larger issues to deal with in addition to just coping with illness, then there may well have to be differences of opinion, as well as just common venting. Add to that the fact that many on your list are under emotional stress, and you have an exercise in tolerance. Much of what goes on will be out of your control. Having said that, it is also necessary to have a clear set of guidelines for everyone to follow. I have these sent to new subscribers, and post it on our web page. Rather than threatening to kick people off, I've found it works to appeal to everyone who finds the list to be useful to help make it work by following the guidelines. These are no more than a few suggestions for operating the list, and a short list of major things not to do. One of these is to never post a message whose only purpose is to insult another participant. Off-topic commericial advertisements are one of the few things I make strictly forbidden on threat of unsubscribing. Most people understand the rule, and for those who don't it simply isn't worth getting into a discussion about it. I also try to make it plain that those who insist on posting list maintenance questions or requests, instead of mailing them to me, or saving the instructions the way they're told to, can not expect much sympathy or help from me. Though you're forced to do something for the determinedly clueless anyway, this keeps the nonsense down to a trickle as most start to take the directions to save the directions seriously. They have to be reminded every once in a while. All this has to be done with at least the passive approval of the list participants. There has to be some discussion involving them in the process. You'll only be able to keep the noise level down if you have the cooperation of at least the majority of the participants. ============================================================================ Mike Holloway |* On average, 8 people a day on the waiting list [log in to unmask] | for a transplant die for lack of a donor. __________________________|* The end-stage diseases treated by transplant do not recognize age, race, nationality or pocketbook. * There is no justifiable reason to deny organ donation, but many myths and misunderstandings. * Next of kin must allow donation. Your family must know your wishes. * Only a small fraction of the next of kin of potential donors allow donation to take place. * In general, medical professionals do not recognize their obligation to support and promote donation. Questions? See FAQ: http://www.lib.ox.ac.uk/internet/news/faq/bit.listserv.transplant.html or ftp://rtfm.mit.edu/pub/usenet/bit.listserv.transplant/ =============================================================================