============= FOR IMMEDIATE DISTRIBUTION =============== FLASH! FLASH! FLASH! STOP-PRESS Baltimore, MD: (LPI) April 01 1997 19:19:10 -0500 UTC We have just received word that Eric Thomas, author of the world famous LISTSERV(R) program has been taken over by space aliens. He has been forced to accept a moderately high-ranking position in their military structure (Major) and will be the Proctor responsible for the newly created intraspace domain: 'Third Rock from Solaris' (know by its handle as '.domo'). In a decree issued from his palace in Stockholm, the simulacrum now known as Major.domo has proscribed until further notice all use of the english language: // JOB Echo=Yes Intraspace Announcement DD=Rules //Rules DD * ANNOUNCE 'Decree' in * where sender contains 'thomas' USE CJLI FOR ALL COMMS PUNCH TICKET INDEX //* The L-hard bunker in nearby Landover, MD (home base for the overlord in the USA) is under siege by the commander's elite ListProc forces and net connections have been reduced to 300 bps. CC:Mail is sending Groupwise reinforcements as fast as mach 4.11. Heavy packet networking continues and collisions are widespread. Indian is held by JohnDC after covert lock contention, while home has been easing out the pw. The getaway-classic car is piloted by win95, while the NT revolt has incapacitated the getaway-lite truck, leaving many users stranded helplessly. The omniscient sylph cata-lyst has been ensnared by the wiley spider in the orchard, while Plum and Peach are vacationing in the Cayman Islands, enjoying the fruits of their labors. All subscriptions are SET NOMAIL NOWAY and the results of all SEARCHes are "You are not authorized to ask that question." We have also received word that LSMTP has fallen to the darth invaders from the planet sendMail. It appears to be the end of the world as we know it. Resistance is Futile! GET listname (Happy april_1 nokidding =8-)