>hi. i co-own a very busy list that has developed two unrelated problems.
>the first is non-technical, but i hope someone can shed some light.
 ...
>I think you're too kind.  I would put this person on the 'ban forever
>list' now - without further warnings.  If you're using LMAIL for
 ...
>Chris Barnes                                 (409) 846-3273 (home)
 
I think Chris is right -- you're giving the obnox too much leeway, and
yourself too much work and irritation.  ONE warning, perhaps private with a
note to the list informing them that the flamer HAS been warned and no
further infractions will be tolerated, perhaps public just to make sure
EVERYONE gets the point.  If the obnox does not heed the warning (mind you,
you might have to take lag-time into account: he may have sent his
objectionable posting BEFORE receiving your warning), off with his head.
 
There are a couple of important points to consider in handling obnoxes:
 
First, be sure your own behaviour is well controlled.  Be careful in your
wording both on and off the list.  Do NOT stoop to the obnox's level and
language.  Do NOT overreact or carry the matter further than it need be.
Make sure your reactions are calm and businesslike at all times.  And ...
don't try to negotiate or reason. Obnoxes are generally delighted to have
an argument.  Don't play into their hands by giving them one.  If you come
across as list dictator, so be it.  (Also try to avoid discussing list
administrative business off or on list with listmembers.  You'd be
surprised how much of a quagmire that can become.)
 
Second, make it plain in your list's charter what the rules are --
incorporate something about staying reasonably on list topic, and state up
front that untoward behaviour will NOT be tolerated.  (A cheerful "this is
MY list, and I am of a tyrannical disposition" might not be amiss.)  If you
can point to the charter and assert that the obnox knew the rules going in,
you are coming from a stronger position.
 
Third, be consistent in your handling of obnoxes.  Don't give more leeway
to one than you do to another.  Do not give the appearance of being
arbitrary in your decisions.
 
Fourth, DOCUMENT.  The moment trouble starts, keep all messages, both list
and private, that are in the least relevant -- if you can show exactly what
the obnox was doing, and how adversely his behaviour was affecting the
list, AND perhaps the off-list complaints from listmembers, plus the
obnox's own off-list notes to you, you can build a very good case should
the obnox try to make trouble.
 
Fifth, if the obnox threatens to go over your head in this matter, get your
story in, first.  Gently warn the sysadmin (or whoever is officially
responsible for your list / listserv) that you have an obnox situation --
no need to detail, better to be almost off-hand about it: just make sure
the obnox's attack doesn't come out of the blue.  (Always a good idea to be
on good terms with your sysadmin types at all times, really -- and it comes
in VERY handy in times of trouble.)  AND send a note to the postmaster of
the obnox's service provider advising of the situation, offering to send
all relevant messages to back up your allegation.  In other words,
pre-emptive strike.
 
Good luck to you.
 
Mario Rups, co-listowner, ARCANA
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